Love or stupidity?



Hi, I'm Erikan, and I wish I was wiser than this; well,  maybe I was, but became stupid , in love.

Love is a beautiful thing, and has always been my drive in life. They say, "love is more beautiful, when you are with the right person". I felt I found the right person to spend forever with... I was wrong.

I never believed in love at first sight, but meeting Maverick changed my ideology on that; it was indeed love at first sight for me. You know, there are persons you just fall in love with when you meet them. Of a truth, first impression really matters. I'm quite observant, but I never saw the signs, not until we got married. Too bad, people only let you see what they feel you want to see.

I remember the first day he used foul languages on me, I never really believed my ears. I was wondering who offended him at work that day because that was so unlike him(so I thought).  I made excuses for him and assumed it was a mistake. Of course, he later apologized for his misbehavior and I, as a good wife, assured him that everything was alright, and I understand. (you see where the problem started? I didn't frown as his misbehavior that day by confronting him, so, prolly, he felt it was cool to transfer aggression on me whenever he felt like).

As days passed, he got used to transferring the aggression on me, and by then, even though I frowned at it by confronting him, it was quite late to do that, because I got beaten in place of my confrontations.

Family and friends began to notice the rough look on my face, and my recent use of complete makeover; unlike me, who mostly joined the 'miss natural look ladies'. I was so good at keeping secrets  but I have very observant people in my life, like my family and my close friends. I had no choice, but to tell the truth, yet, assured them that it's nothing I can't handle. My brother even offered to come show him nobody messes with his sister, but you know, we can't and shouldn't take laws into our hands.

I felt I was still in love with my husband; at least, I consoled myself with the fact that love has always been my drive  and my vows to be with him for better and for worse.  Experience is not always the best teacher, it is also a hard teacher.

The physical abuse wasn't anywhere close to the verbal abuse, because I recently developed a weak heart also known medically as Cardiomyopathy. I'm glad I got to experience love at the early years of my marriage, yet I'm sad I will be leaving my two most treasured beings(my son and daughter) behind...this could have been avoided though, if only I walked away earlier from this marriage before it led me into this. I am not an advocate of divorce, but sometimes, it is important for you to know when to walk away and live.

It's okay if you say I was being stupid. I only thought I could save my marriage alone. A relationship is like a seesaw, for it be balanced, it requires two individuals. Likewise marriage.

Don't let love deprive you from seeing those signs early. Don't make excuses for your partners misbehavior. Caution them when needful, and learn to take corrections too.

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